When I was in the Marines, me and some friends when out drinking, right after we finished with boot camp. My friend was pounding non-stop Long Island Iced Teas, right up until he shit himself. But that didn't mean his night was over - the guy was just getting started.

He went back to the hotel and got in touch with a call girl. She came by his room and they started hanging out - I don't know how she didn't notice for herself, but he didn't tell her that he had shit in his pants at the time.

When the rest of us got back to the hotel, he was passed out, with his shitty pants down, his wallet missing, and a new load of shit on his chest. What we figured out is that the prostitute got grossed out when she pulled his pants down - which is probably around when he passed out - so she robbed him blind and then took a dump on him. And seriously, who could blame her? - Ex-Marine at a bar, NY